Have you ever been in one of those awkward situations where you didn't know what to say, so you just said "something" and then regretted it? Me, too. Or you had a time you strongly overreacted and later wondered, "Why did that upset me so much?" Mm hmm.
I believe people live out of default settings; things we believe and don't even realize it. Maybe you've had a moment like this in your life: Your husband comes home after work and casually asks, "What did you do today?" (Cue music that reveals danger is near. Very near!)
"What do you mean, 'what did I do today'? Do you think I sit around here all day doing nothing?" Surprised, your husband's eyes widen as your head starts spinning and glass starts shattering (figuratively speaking, of course.)
So, what just happened here? Why the explosion from a perfectly routine question? I believe it's because there's a deep seeded lie that's playing in the heart unknowingly and the question just brought it to the surface, pushed on it, and revealed itself.
This has happened millions of times on earth. It's happened a hundred times just in my own home! Fortunately, I had a friend who knew how to help me with my "issue". She said, "You've got a lot of lies going on in your head!" For years, I lived with a Committee of Voices silently shouting at me and I didn't realize that my reactions were often just manifestations of carefully disguised lies. My "you are worthless" lie would rear it's ugly head. I'd react and lash out at the ones I loved, much like the story at the beginning.
You can not believe the truth and a lie at the same time!
The bible calls this being double-minded (Jam. 1:8) I may say I believe something, but my actions are going to prove whether or not I really do. Here's an example:
I can say,"I believe the Lord will supply all my needs." That's a biblical concept so I can be assured that it's true. I can even teach this concept to others. But...have I ever worried about money? Worried I wouldn't have all my needs met? So, the question becomes, "What do I really believe?" My mouth may say one thing, but my heart is somewhere else. I may even believe that I trust His provision, but when the pressure comes, I'll live out what I truly believe in my heart.
This past week, I went to to a conference in Denver. I thought it was going to be about biblical counseling. It was. But it was more. I soon realized this wasn't about helping people through hardships. It was about God's Truth in our lives. Not head knowledge truth, but truth I believe with action. It's the word the bible uses as "faith" and "trust". And as the sessions went on, I began to see that we often need to sit back and look at what we are believing is truth.
Jesus said in John 8, "If you hold to my teaching... You will KNOW my truth, and the truth will set you free. If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."
"No one tells anyone when they are in counseling, but they tell everyone when they are free," said our speaker this weekend.
I am one of those the Lord has freed! Freed from sin and death. But also, freed from guilt and shame. I've decided to write about this because of the healing the Lord has done in my heart and mind over these past 10 years as I've asked him that huge question over and over, "Is that true, Lord?"
If you relate to the story of the exploding wife, or the ruckus of the voices in your head, or you're just tied up, believing one thing while proclaiming you believe another, then I hope you'll consider stopping by this blog and reading what I'll write over the course of the next weeks. I've found freedom and I don't want to keep it for myself.
Jesus is the Way, the TRUTH, and the Life. Even if you aren't his follower, oh, I hope you'll still read this anyway and test if what you read is speaking to your heart at all. If you're thinking, #religioustrap, consider reading my story. It starts at the beginning of this blog. Candi... Meet Grace or Thou Shalt not Chew Gum in Church.
If you're tired of shackles, weary from worry, hopeless about your circumstances, I know where freedom lies. It's not about just "getting through" life's struggles. Anyone can do that. Believer or not. That only takes the ability to inhale and exhale. Let's do more than just breath. Let's thrive! When we don't know what to do, let's do more than just "something".
So, my believing friend - "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what the will of God is - - his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2
And those of you not sure about Jesus, (or me! for that matter), "Do you long for something more?" If so, it may not be a coincidence that you're reading this today.