Thursday, March 19, 2020

Wait, What?!? I'm suppose to Homeschool now?

(Today's blog is for all the moms who've found themselves thrust into homeschooling unexpectedly.)

When our four kids were young, we decided to homeschool them for a couple of years. I had months to think about how I wanted it to go. I looked through catalogs for curriculum and gleaned ideas from other moms. I had something you do not... TIME TO PREPARE!

So today, I'm going to leave some ideas, some advice and hopefully some reassurance that both you and your children are going to be alright. It will be hard at times, but you may just discover that you have a new, stronger connection with your child when this is done.

WHAT IF YOU'RE THE MOM WHO SAID, "I COULD NEVER HOMESCHOOL BECAUSE WE'D KILL EACH OTHER!?"

First of all, breathe. Just breathe. You can do this. You went through 23 hours of labor to bring this child into the world! You have lived without sleep since 2012. You're tougher than you think. Give yourself a few days to think through how you're going to incorporate schoolwork into your survival routine next week or next month. This week, you are wearing the mom hat. Not the teacher hat. No child's math and reading is going to tank in the near future. And honestly, your child is learning something much more important than math as he watches you handle change and model where your security comes from. In fact, I think the golden lining in the cloud is that you've just been given a great opportunity to show your kids how to handle trials. I think back to a quote a seasoned grandma told me once, "Blessed are the flexible for they shall not break." Indeed!

Now, if you're feeling unsure about the upcoming possibility of playing the teacher role, be assured, you're not alone. Every teacher wonders at some point whether or not they've got what it takes to infuse the next generation with knowledge and skills. You do. But one of the things that will help as you leap into this new role at home is to be willing to wear different hats at different times. As moms, we already do this quite a bit, but I personally think that being intentional with this helps focus on what matters most at that moment.

Here's what I mean: If you try to wear the cook hat, the teacher hat, the mom hat, the referee hat, the hazmat hat, and the doctor hat all at once, you're going to be overwhelmed. Test what happens to your sanity level if you just wear one or two at a time. (Now, I do realize the referee hat will often end up getting pulled on if you have multiple kids, but that's alright. Gotta do what you gotta do.) But YOU decide which hats are worth wearing in a day. Not the school district, not your friends, not the grandparents, just you. What does your family need today? That's your decision.

How do you go between these two hats?

Mom hat: First things first! Feed and hug them in the morning. Don't even THINK about schooling yet. Just connect with them, reassuring them that "this is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it!" That's a good way to start. Even if they're sick or grumpy or fighting, they will settle into your calm if it is part of your routine each day. If you're freaked out and stressed, they hear it in your voice and will mirror that too. Start your feet hitting the floor with a cry out to Jesus to help you love your kids well. Your most important role to your kids isn't as the educator, it's mom. While you wear this hat, don't harp on them about homework or if they've gotten everything done. Just be mom. They need you more than ever with all the sudden changes that have happened.

Mentally decide to change hats when you're ready to instruct.

Teacher hat: Take a moment. Think about that favorite teacher you had in school. What was it about him/her that made them memorable? Did they make learning fun? Did they seem to have a knack for telling good stories? Bring some of those styles into your teaching time. I know some parents are receiving loads of lesson plans and worksheets from schools and teachers. Don't make your time schooling all about getting the worksheets done! Yuck!!! Everyone and their dog would hate school if it was all about getting through "the stack" of to-do's. Too often, we think that if the worksheet is done, check, they've learned it. Busywork isn't important. Figure out what needs to get done and set the rest aside. Also, I know there's lots of fun ideas online but don't feel like you need to do them ALL and especially not ALL this week! Find out where they are in the main subjects. If they need help in it, take the time to sit with them, remembering you have your teacher hat on your head, and patiently help them through it. If they've got it figured out, then don't worry about the 8 other worksheets to prove they have it learned. The point is to learn, not to be busy.

I will go as far as to say "keeping up with all the school work" is not the point of your new teaching position at this stage in the game. If you're looking at the clock worried that you should be keeping them academically busy from 8:00-3:00 then you're going to focus on "staying busy." This older mom would say this: Your kids aren't on the clock. Unfortunately, we've heard that kids need to be in school "X" number of hours. That's not the point.  Being present doesn't equal getting an education. Use the time you have wisely and discover the joy of learning together, but don't focus on the clock. See that they are still learning. Don't worry about what everyone else is doing. Just do what you see fits your crew. Every family will be different, so don't worry. Comparing doesn't help them learn.

Two other things to consider as you wear the teacher hat:

1. I'd encourage you to consider just taking this time to teach simple life skills. Have them sort laundry and show them how to start the machine. Bake some cookies or spaghetti together. Those areas are as valuable as the three R's. Think about this, kitchen tasks lend themselves to talking about fractions (3/4 cup of flour, etc...) science (how things bake using chemistry) reading a recipe and understanding steps, taking turns stirring the flour (talk about where flour comes from and who grows it).

2. Teach a fun "unit" study. The beauty of this is that you can pick a subject, a place, a time in history and discover it together with all your kids no matter what their ages are. Ask them what they're interested in. You might find you have an engineer in the making.

* Let's say you want to teach about the pioneers coming west. You'd read aloud something like Little House on the Prairie, bake something from scratch, have the kids build a wagon under the kitchen table by throwing a blanket over it, have dinner by candlelight and talk about how great electricity is and what it might have been like for the pioneers who only had lanterns for light. Introduce the kids to the classic old Oregon Trail game. Didn't you guys grow up playing that one?

* Perhaps your older kids could learn about WW2 and the great generation who fought for the world's freedom. There are loads of great family-friendly documentaries. Read a book from that time like the diary of Anne Frank or Unbroken. Tell them the stories of their great grandparents' rolls during the war. Do you have family who served? Do your kids know about them? Pull out pictures.

* Pretend you're visiting a far off country for a day or week. Eat ethnic food from that place. Play music from that country. Draw a picture of what they think that place would be like then take a virtual tour on the computer.

* Let them tell a story using Stop Motion Movies. (There are some great apps for this!) The art of communication is beautiful. Let them be creative and silly.

*Play board games! Yes, this is educational. Think about how much mental math happens in a game? They are learning patience, strategy, and how to be a good sport whether they win or lose. Many life lessons are learned around a board game.

You'll find that you don't need huge lesson plans to succeed at learning, but start with an idea and your kids may very well help throw ideas into the ring. A great teacher mostly teaches the joy of learning.

WARNING: Be aware of the fact your life is going to feel really messy right now. Literally. When you homeschool, you quickly find out your house gets even messier than normal because you are living in it, eating in it, learning in it, all the time, every day. In our homeschool years, it was hard to keep up with dishes, laundry and house. Don't expect the house to stay organized and "perfect". It isn't going to be. Take that breath again. It's ok. You aren't going to be able to wear your housekeeping hat the way you'd like but wear it often enough to get by. Remember what the focus is--connection with your kids. Occasionally through the day, DO pull the cleaning hat on and set the timer for 10 minutes.  Tell the kids they have to run errands for you until the timer goes off. Crank up the crazy music and have everyone pick up with you as fast as they can. Clock out the teacher, the housekeeper and pull on that mom hat again. Relax. You just finished wearing your teacher's hat for the day. You did it!

My last word of advice is this: READ READ READ! If all you did as the educator of your kids' life these next weeks was read gobs of books, taking wild imaginary adventures in glass elevators or on pirate ships, then you've succeeded. Yay!!

You are building memories. Enjoy this crazy ride and don't let the new job freak you out too much. Remember they just want to feel your love and comfort more than anything. Even those feisty kids you swore you'd wring their necks if you ever had homeschool. Ask God to help you see your child's strengths and weaknesses during this time. Help them develop where they are weak. Don't just get upset. Help them. If they're slow readers, read to them and help them fall in love with good books. If they struggle in math, have them do some practice in the area that they are challenged in. But don't make them sit in a room alone going over and over the same stuff without helping them. That's torture for both of you. If they need help in writing, try writing a letter to a school friend they are missing. (Aw, mail. I could write a whole book on snail mail. It's magic!)

Don't weigh yourselves down too much. Put on the music and pull out those legos. Dust off the board games and find your copy of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. You won't get these days back. You're going to be ok.

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