"When you wake up, do you feel ready to attack the day?"
"Do you like your energy level?"
"You like your life, don't you?"
Yes, I do!
"Your eyes are lively. You appear very healthy."
I feel really good.
I went to the doctor this week. Maybe this doesn't sound "blog worthy" but I came away with two very profound realizations.
I WAS SITTING WITH A BUNCH OF OLD PEOPLE in the waiting room!!! Evidently, I must be old. When did I go from sitting in a doctor's office with young pregnant ladies to a waiting room full of silver-haired people trying to prolong life with blood pressure medication? I realized this week I have joined the ranks of people trying to extend their lives rather than birthing life. I turned 40 last month (Yeah! Something I am actually very pleased about. Strange, but true!) And my doctor wanted answers to more than just my family medical history. He asked about my cholesterol numbers, joint aches, night sweats and bowel movements. He even seemed surprised I took no regular medications for anything. Ha! What a new experience to answer questions connected with aging. I learned I'm officially getting OLD-er. But I love what I realized next...
I LOVE MY LIFE! I love the stage of life I'm in! I wouldn't exchange all the fun and excitement in my 20's and 30's, for the peace and contentment God has grown in me at this stage. I'm more comfortable in my skin than ever (and that's amazing considering it's trying very hard to travel toward the ground.) A few things come with age, I think. I've decided being in style is optional. I don't' feel like I need to say "yes" to everything anymore and I don't battle with guilt as often when the word "no" comes from my lips. I worry much less about being the perfect mom to my kids because I've seen God work in their lives despite me. I don't secretly argue with Daryl in my head when he tells me I'm beautiful. Instead, I drink it up!
When did this happen in me?
I think all of these contented views of life could find their root in one fact. I believe God more now than ever before. I believe these things: My value doesn't come from my external appearance - I am His workmanship. My worth doesn't come from how much I'm doing - but in Whose I am. My joy isn't dependent on the approval of mankind - I seek to follow Jesus, alone. So, when the doctor paused and said, "You like your life, don't you," there wasn't even a moments hesitation to boldly answer "Yes, I do!" The Lord and I have traveled a lot of life together. It feels great to look back and see... progress. Growth. Peace.
As I departed the doctor's office with my newfound revelation, I wanted to strut through the waiting room and shout the old slogan, "You've come a long way, Baby!" But, then I remembered, everyone there was old enough to remember that the slogan was actually for Virginia Slims cigarettes and somehow, that just didn't seem appropriate for a doctor's office. So, I just smiled at the white-haired lady sitting near the exit and kept my mouth shut. Hmm... Another sign that maybe I am growing wiser in my "old age".