The Enabler

(The story you're about to read is true. The names have not been changed to protect the innocent--or guilty in this case.) 

My name is Candi and I am married to an enabler. This compelling story began in Montana where Daryl and I met, fell in love and got married. Not long into the marriage we discovered that despite all our love for each other, we really didn't understand one another easily. I was surprised to find out we were actually quite different. Even our interests were unfamiliar. I was the musician who started playing piano as soon as I could climb up on the bench. Early on I asked Daryl if he played anything to which he simply replied, "Does the radio count?"  I also was sure a girl couldn't own enough books. So I was shocked when he said he didn't have a favorite book. He even went so far as to confess he'd only skimmed the required books in high school. (*Gasp!) I couldn't even imagine! A life without incessant reading?!? But to be fair, one of Daryl's greatest joys in life was flying, which I knew absolutely zilch about. The first thing he'd done after graduating high school was head to Colorado to go to flight school. He was a private pilot that loved to fly the family plane every chance he got. He soon found out I knew nothing of airplanes, except that they flew. And I also knew nothing of how flight even worked. He carefully explained in great detail the workings of an airplane's flaps and rudders. He talked about the clouds and high and low pressure. Oh, be still my heart! I was mesmerized but only because he was handsome and nice. I didn't really care how the plane worked as long as it stayed in the sky! We both shared a zeal for life, but in uniquely different ways.

Through the years, we've become students of each other's interests. I've enjoyed soaring through the skies more than I'd ever dreamt I could, and Daryl has attended more concerts than he could possibly count. But I feel at this point in the story, I must reveal a secret about Daryl -- He's grown into (start dramatic music *bum *bum *bummmm) an ENABLER! He has gone beyond just learning about my interests, and instead, figured out how to supply my dreams with fuel. He spurs them on. He makes them happen. He's amazing that way. (And he's still handsome. Bonus!)

Most people see the word, enabler, in a negative light since it's often referred to as an individual who enables another  to stay in bondage to poor habits. Daryl, the positive version of an enabler, lives in a different way. He hasn't merely listened to me talk about my interests and hobbies, but instead, he's actively corroborated every single one of them. He's sacrificially given his blood, sweat and tears (and time and money) to enable me to pursue my ideas. Now, you must understand, I am not a pro at anything, (anything!) I do. That hasn't stopped his enablement. Not once has he told me, show me proof you're going to succeed and then we'll talk. Here's an example: Our first year of marriage, I started out with a black thumb. I literally killed everything alive in our apartment. So a few years later, when I wanted to grow a garden, he said, "Sure," and roto-tilled the soil. (Later in the season, together, we burned up my entire garden with too much fertilizer, but we were both young and dumb yet.)

Fast forward a few decades, thanks to Daryl's enabling ways we now have an awesome greenhouse, built and designed by Daryl; a custom fireplace in our living room, built and designed by Daryl; a camper that's getting an incredible remodel, built by Daryl; VBS science experiments that hundreds of kids have enjoyed, engineered and built by Daryl. And a few years ago, when I said I wanted to start writing, he never balked when I wanted to sign up for online classes. Instead, he bought me my new computer, Mac (aka, the other man in my life) and has driven me to bookstores in every state we travel through. He is thee very definition of being an enabler. I could stack up miles of evidence to prove his guilt but I believe I've made my point. He has blessed me with the ability to make so many wonderful things possible.

I appreciate that he looks at my imperfect dreams and ideas, listens patiently, then jumps on board and truly enables me to be creative and active in other people's lives.  I could not do what I do... without him. Often times, my life is lived on a stage or in a more visible manner than his, but what most people don't know is that he's the one that makes it all possible. Whether it's a tent and tables set up in the backyard for out latest tea party or a new keyboard that's battery charged so I can type in the mountains while we camp, he is the perfect enabler in my life. I am a life blessed by his kindness. For all you do, my Love, thank you!

     enable- to make able; to supply with power, physical or moral; to supply with means

     enabler- a person or thing that makes something possible